Building a Love That Floats

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     It’s a symbiotic relationship, or so we’re told. Before you can love someone else, you must first love yourself. 


     I suppose the underlying logic is analogous to building a wooden ship. Before you can slip your ship into the water to see if it floats, you must first deem it seaworthy where it rests, on dry land. After all, you are the master shipbuilder. No one knows her timbers and masts, her keel, rudder, and rigging better than you. You have known this godly vessel from the day you bent her first hull planks. If you are not fully satisfied with your own craftwork, how can you expect any harbor master, captain, or ship’s mate to be impressed with her?


     Standing back and taking a final glimpse at this impressive sailing ship, your chest puffs out as sure as you see yourself reflected in her architecture: her broad, swollen hull, your planning and carpentry evident in every brace, lift and cringle. Her bowsprit and spars are a testament to your sense of utility and precision. It seems like a lifetime since you set the first pegs and drove the first wedges. Everyone says she is a masterful piece of shipbuilding. You should be proud.


     But until you set her to sea you will never know for certain that she is seaworthy. In spite of all your best efforts, all the confidence you possess, and all the praise and accolades others have heaped upon you, there are questions in the back of your mind. Doubts linger. Once your ship is in the water, though, your pride and confidence are rewarded. Majestic on the water, she floats! 


     And there’s the key to the analogy: the water buoys the ship. Without the water, the ship has no practical reason for its existence, except to inspire other ships perhaps.


     You see, each man is a dry-docked ship, and each woman is the ocean. And conversely, each woman is a land-locked ship and each man the waves of the deep.


     Like building a ship, finding love takes time and effort. There will always be the desire to make of Love the very best vessel possible, but there will always be obstacles, fear, and doubt. It’s not until you slide your ship into the water that you discover whether or not it will float. The sea always has the ability to keep a sea-going vessel afloat, but the ship will never float until it enters the ocean and allows the water to love it and support it in return. Thus, like water and ship, man and woman: the perfect symbiotic relationship. It’s true – as we learn to love ourselves, we realize we have the ability to love others. And the kinder, more patient, and more compassionate we are to others, the more we fall in love with ourselves.

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